8/7/2023 0 Comments Guys getting a vasectomy![]() ![]() “I haven't seen something like this in eight years,” he says, inspecting the wreckage. There are two emotions you never want to see from a urologist: surprise and disappointment. “Let's see what I did to you, dude,” my doctor says. It's been a week and I am back at the scene of the crime. I haven't exercised in a week and feel pudgy. The constant sensation that my man parts are going to drop to the floor like a shorn tetherball.ģ. The shaved hair has started to sprout back up, which makes things itchy.Ģ. (You’ll never feel self-conscious about your size again after reading this Interview with a Guy with a Micropenis.)ġ. “Your testicles are normally, what, the size of a pear?” Grapefruit seems to be the gold standard of panic in the vasectomy world. A nurse asks whether my tag team are grapefruit-sized yet. I am supposed to hit the gym today, but when my son throws a parking lot fit and needs to be carried into school, it feels like a hernia. They are a dozen different shades of purple. My testicles look like Prince’s bedroom this morning. RELATED: 10 Things That Hurt Worse Than a Vasectomy “If your testicles swell larger than a grapefruit, call me. “Not really,” the doctor says, the aroma of scorched flesh still in the air. “Is there anything I should be looking for?” I say, gently pulling up my pants after it’s done. ![]() The entire procedure takes about twenty minutes. How did things go so horribly wrong? And could it ever happen to you? After that same seven day stretch where most men are reenacting Basic Instinct (minus the ice pick murder) in the bedroom, I was still crab-walking around the house with a set of private parts so purple and swollen, it looked like they owed Floyd Mayweather money. My own vasectomy didn't go smoothly at all. Play icon The triangle icon that indicates to play ![]()
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